Saturday, February 23, 2013


Post Chemo Day 3

The side effects started last night. I felt so achy and was in so much pain. Little did I know how bad it would get. I slept pretty good through most of the night until about 3 am when Stephen woke up screaming. Steve had to get up with him because I physically could not get out of bed. He cried for me, poor buggar. Within a half a hour he was back up again, but this time, I let him come in the room and get a 15 minuet cuddle and I staggered with him back to his room. The girls were up bright and early and I turned on the TV in my room. Every time they moved the bed, I cringed. It hurt so bad and felt like an eternity before Sarah finally showed up. I only managed an hour before I fell asleep on the couch. I slept most of the day and Sarah made me come and get some food. This pain is incredible. I feel like I was set out in the sun, with baby oil, crushed between two steel slabs and then given a mutated flu gene. Every place there is a hair on my body aches. My face feels like it is being stretched beyond the limits of the world. My neck and shoulders may just fall off from the pain. Nothing seems to help. I wasn't ready for this.

Stephen was out of control tonight. He screamed for what seemed to be the entire evening. Nothing soothed him. Lily joined his madness for a while but is easier to get over her issues. They just don't understand. I feel like a helpless mom and that is just about the worst feeling.