Wednesday, March 20, 2013

3/4/13

Post Chemo Day 11
I thought maybe my face would be getting better but it's still just getting worse. I just don't even know what the hell to do anymore. It is the worse pain ever. My face aches 24/7, I can barely sleep and must take a Vicodin every 4 hours or I cannot even function. I can't even form my mouth enough to swallow my own saliva-  my face is that swollen. It's almost like I had my wisdom teeth pulled out but even my chin hurts. I have like this thick scab over my chin into my jaw and I can't move my face around. It's so sensitive that everything hurts it. Looking at my face makes me sick to my stomach I look so damn ugly. So many people want to visit but I don't want anyone here while I look like this. I am absolutely hideous. Thank goodness I got my medicine today- woot woot! I pray it works within 3 days but I have a feeling my face has a whole lot more healing to do than three days. My oncology appointment in on Thursday so I am hoping I can get off of the drug causing it because I cannot deal with this much longer. Every day I wake up hoping it looks a teeny better and try to be in a good mood but it fades through the day. I have been falling asleep in the afternoon but the kids make that a wee bit impossible. They just don't get it. They throw fits and whine and cry, I get so mad at them. I hate being in this much pain all the time. Aughhhhh.

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