Growing up, we weren't rich, money was something that was earned from my very hard working parents. My parents lived to make sure we had great experiences as a child, and we truly did. I honestly can say I had one of the best childhoods. My Mom shared with me places she wanted to go, things she wanted to do. In essence, she was sharing her own bucket list with me. Even if my mother never accomplished those things, I knew them- and I could only hope that one day I could provide her those dreams. Your mother is your first role model, so naturally her dreams became my dreams. Things she wanted to do, became what I wanted to do as well.
I have lived a good life. I don't need or want for much more, but when it comes to my children, husband and family; there are still a lot of things that I would like to experience with them. We are young. Too young to have mortality shoved in our face.
That's why I have created the "Mommy Bucket List". There are still so many things I wanted to accomplish with my children, husband and family. The list is compiled of not only things I did as a child that I wanted to do with my children but things I wished of doing, and experiences I had hoped to accomplish. Moreover, it is a list of dreams. Dreams that make me happy. And right now, being happy is pretty awesome.
I may never have the opportunity my mother had. I may never be able to share these with my children, but now they can see them. They will be able to know that even though Mommy was sick, she tried her very hardest to just smile and stay happy. Who knows, I may never make it to one of these destinations, but, my hope would be that my children will - and in that moment they will think of me and remember how much I loved them.
*Click on the link above*
Can you imagine being me, though? Do you know what it is like not knowing what will be your last monumental occasion with your kids, or your last holiday with them? I do. I have accepted that fact that Christ will guide and help mold my children in their lives. When I am gone God will make sure they will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will work out how it is written and life will be good. Heck, life is good now, you just gotta find the good in the bad. It doesn't mean I like this, I don't. I hate that I won't see most of these things happen but you better believe that I will try my hardest to make sure they all happen. Keep updated on the new page as I set out to complete my list!
Notes from Cancerland: Chemo #4 went good. I was able to get my Xgeva shot for the tumors in my spine. I got fairly sick to the belly for three days. I really just did not feel good at all. I did end up finishing up the past couple days with an amazing time with my little family. Steve has a 4 day weekend and it was just great to have him home. Since I completed one cycle on my Abraxane, I get a week off before the start of my next cycle. I am not sure if this will be my last cycle before my scans or if I will have one more. I have a check-up today down at the dermatologist for my psoriasis! It has been somewhat under control but with my great new makeup skills-you'd never know!