1/22/13

Biopsy Day.

I go in, and feel like I am going to pee myself. I am by myself and trying to keep my mind occupied. When the nurse comes back to get me and takes me to the room is when the nerves hit. As soon as she tells me to lie down is when everything seemed very surreal. I am 28 and lying on a table to get a biopsy that can forever change my life, even kill me. I feel the tears starting and I just keep rubbing my toes together in my shoes to keep myself from just running out of there. I really didn't know what to expect. She explained everything to me, and then the doc came in and explained it all again. I prayed that maybe I made this all up. Maybe everything was in my head, maybe I didn't hear the doc right, and everything would just have disappeared. Well, that didn't happen, and everything was still there. The whole procedure was about an hour; he cut me in 3 places and then stuck the needle in. I hated it, it was uncomfortable, and hurt, but I had been through worse and just kept telling myself that. He took about 6 tissue samples from the breast and 2 from my lymph. They insert these super duper small ribbons in your breast for markers in case you need further tests; they know where the biopsy center is. I had to have a mammogram after to check the placement of the markers and the doc came in. He gave me his card and told me when I get my results to give him a call, or that if I had at questions until I get my results to give him a call and he would be, and I quote, "straightforward" with me. I wasn't going to let him get away with that comment and I said to him " what do you mean you will be straightforward with me?" and he went on to tell me that he just didn't know what we were looking at. He said he can normally tell when something is benign, but with me, he just couldn't tell.

I actually left there feeling better. It was liberating being able to see that I wasn't crazy and at everything was still where it was. It was good hearing the docs opinion about what he saw. It made me feel like I knew the answer to the results already.