Welcome back to my 4th edition of Thirteen Thankful Thursdays!
My Dad is a Marine (you are never an ex-Marine, were a Marine or used to be a Marine) and he always ran a tight ship at home. We did things when asked, not "in a minute" or even the next day; we were never late for anything and we always needed to get things done in a timely manner. Of course as I grew up and became a Mother, I found myself being more scheduled than I ever thought I would be. I kinda had to though, being an actual first time Mother to twins was tough! I felt the only way to keep sane was to have a strict schedule that was stuck to. It grew harder as Stephen was born, and I had to become accustomed to taking care of myself and three little human beings at the same time.
As the kids grew and started pre-school, running to therapies and appointments with Stephen, I found myself always rushing. I was always yelping at them. "Hurry up, we're gonna be late". "Let's go, we'll be late". "If we are late, you are in a lot of trouble". I was always rushing them, telling them how we would be late, even though we never were. And one day, while getting dressed, Lily said to me "Mommy, are we going to be late?". My heart sunk. I felt as if I failed as a Mother. I had made my child believe that we couldn't take our time, that we always were rushing. Everything I did, I rushed. Driving I would speed past other drivers to get to my destination even though I had plenty of time to spare. I would rush to get crafts done, afraid I wouldn't finish on time. Rush, rush, rush. And life, it isn't about rushing.
Cancer taught me that lesson quickly. I will never forget driving to get Stephen to therapy one day after I was diagnosed and I was speeding and it was making me angry. Then, I had an epiphany, why am I rushing? I wan't running late, and even if I was, who cares! So, I slowed down, pumped the music through the van, put the windows down and started singing with the kids.
I don't want my kids to grow up feeling rushed. I would feel as if I robbed them from the innocence of truly stopping to smell the roses. I am done rushing. The world can wait on me, the world can wait on you. The challenge is this: slow down. Don't rush. Drive in the slow lane, don't use the words "hurry" or "lets go"; don't set deadlines, if your child stops to notice the beauty of a butterfly- let them instead of worrying how you might miss something because you took an extra 10 minutes to waste time. You will never get a moment back like that to watch your child in all their purity. Enjoy every single millisecond of your life.
This is an ongoing challenge, just don't do this one day, do it everyday.
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